Learn the real reason you get paralyzed in social situations,
the most important things you need to make friends as an adult,
and how to never run away from conflict again.
You feel different, defective, alien, flawed, weird, strange, or like a freak.
You identify with being a hermit, outcast, lone wolf, outlaw, loner, or misfit.
You've convinced yourself that you like being alone and that it's empowering for you to "take care of yourself" even though, deep down, you feel lonely and desperate for connection. You know you want to have friends who "get you" and relationships that are safe to be yourself in, but you're tired of being hurt and taken advantage of, so you keep putting it off.
Your greatest fear is that once people see the real you, they won't like you, so you're constantly wondering if people are mad at you.
You agree to go to a social gathering, only to cancel last minute because you feel sick to your stomach. And when you do manage to go, you spend the whole time stuck in your head, judging every word you say or don't say, and spend the drive home in a shame spiral. You want to be present and share your quirky sense of humor, but you're not sure if it's possible for you.
This impacts everything in your life. Not only do you think everyone hates you, but you secretly hate yourself too. You have trouble getting jobs you want and the relationship struggles you have outside of work distract you from doing your best at work. You overeat, drink, shop or doom scroll on social media to numb the loneliness, which is impacting not only your physical health but your mental health too. And you feel like a burden to the one or two people who are there for you because they're all you've got.
As a nerdy, neurodivergent girl with social anxiety, I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere. So when I became a coach, I spent a lot of time unwinding my insecurities and fears.
In school, I was bullied and had a hard time keeping friends. I carried the idea that I'm too different to be liked into adulthood.
The shift started when I moved out of my parent's house after college and into a condo by myself. I got to see for myself that being alone was not the answer. When my then-fiancé now husband moved in with me, I had to learn how to express myself without me screaming during disagreements.
It started the snowball of being honest about how I feel in every situation, taking responsibility for my actions, leaning into conflict instead of harboring resentments, and celebrating who I am in a vulnerable way with the people around me, without needing them to validate me. It was life-changing.
Keep reading and I'll share with you how I did it.
You leave social gatherings feeling as whole and valuable as you do when you're by yourself in nature.
When someone asks you if you want to go to a concert for a band you dislike, instead of blurting out, "that would be great!" before you can stop yourself and then sheepishly saying you can't go when the event gets closer, you instead say, you don't like that band without worrying how they'll react.
You're willing to hear "no" because you don't depend on them for your self-worth. You're willing to bring up when things are bothering you. Instead of spending months wondering if they're mad at you, you call them, sort it out, and cheerfully move on with your day.
You have a group of friends that ask about you and are there when you need them. They love all your quirks and are interested in your latest interests and adventures.
When something upsetting happens, you know how to process your feelings and regulate your nervous system. You can calm yourself down and feel safe knowing that you've got your own back.
never again spend the drive home berating yourself after social events.
know what you can handle, and only say yes to what you want to, so you can get out of the dance of when to cancel and what excuse to use.
no longer make being neurodivergent, different, introverted, or highly sensitive mean you need to change something about yourself.
be able to get out of your head and be more present in any situation so you can say what you want to say and be the person you know you are deep down.
Single sessions of one-on-one coaching and support. It all starts with a free discovery call to specify your goals, see if we're a good fit, and answer your questions.
Putting off this investment in yourself and thinking you should be able to figure this out on your own, puts your current relationships at stake and leaves you just as lonely and miserable.
I spent a year avoiding a conflict with a friend that was solved in a few sentences and a 15-minute phone call. Without this work, we wouldn't still be friends and it would have been a big loss for a simple misunderstanding. If I'd faced my fears sooner, we could have avoided a year of suffering.
Coaching has gotten my clients out of many painful situations including:
Without coaching, they would all probably still be in these situations, believing "life is meaningless and then you die" or "good things aren't meant for me," but that simply isn't true. Every minute you spend ignoring your dreams because you're worried it won't work out is a minute you'll spend in pain that could have been avoided.
This is your life we're talking about. You deserve better and I can help you get it.